Thanks for being here

 Hello, everyone! 

Welcome to my blog and thanks for being here! I thought I would do an introductory post just to explain what this blog will even be about and why I'm keeping it. If you follow me on instagram some of this won't be new to you :) 

   Basically I am looking for two things with this blog: one is to have an additional space to process my work with my therapist which includes the artwork I made in or for therapy. I'm an art therapist who sees an art therapist so there is a lot of art in production at any given point. The second thing is that I'm looking to be more connected and open with my people (that's you). Connection is intimidating to me and I'm hoping sharing in this format is a way to feel more connected without the overwhelm of doing so. 

   I'm trusting you to hold my dual identity as a provider of therapy and participant in therapy. Please know that as a therapist it is my top priority to provide excellent care and I take this very seriously. For me, providing great care starts with caring for myself which includes whole-heartedly engaging in deep, intense, and rigorous self-reflection. That's where my own personal therapy and my artwork come in. Please also know that I don't identify as an artist and am not particularly interested in doing so. When people ask me if I'm an artist I say "I make art to be okay." I just want to share my work and connect with you. 

   There's one last thing for you to know. At any point you are welcome to respond to me by leaving a comment, emailing me, or even texting and calling. Of course that is not my expectation. Please know that  I sometimes (meaning always) have vulnerability hangovers after sharing and this can delay me in getting back to people who may have reached out. I deeply appreciate you taking the time to respond or reach out, I just sometimes freak out a little after sharing and then I'm not able to get back to you until I get over that. Just know that it has nothing to do with you or your message, it's definitely just me. 

   Before diving into some artwork please also know that it's more important for you to care for yourself than it is for you to read/view anything of mine. There's some heavy stuff happening in my life and I want to share that with you but not at the expense of you. So just know you can opt out of entries if it feels intense. Take care of yourselves. 

I made this a few weeks ago to reflect the overwhelming sadness that accompanies healing from abuse. It's intense and very painful. I think she looks rather dead but my therapist pointed out that her heart, while broken, is very vibrant and alive-looking. Given what I had going on at the time it's curious to me that she is both alive and dead. 

"Still here." I made this on the other side of a very rough week. This one is example of how much pain you can be in but still find hope. Based on my mood and mental space when starting this one I never would have guessed that something this hopeful and light would be the outcome. Art therapy is amazing that way. 

This one includes a line from a Lewis Capaldi song I've been listening to on repeat. "Your love I'm lost in, even though I'm noting to you now." This one is about my struggle to feel important to my therapist between therapy sessions. I just feel so alone between sessions and like I don't even matter to her. Over the years this waxes and wanes for me. We talk about it when it comes up. I think it's just part of my attachment wound. Another line in this song is "there must be something in the water" and I think that influenced this piece as well. 

Thanks for reading. Sending you love <3 

Veronica