Today I am feeling like I want to write about empathy. In class the other day we were making a small art piece about what we bring to the table as a therapist. I really struggled with this. I cut  a piece of magenta 8.5 x 11 paper in half and then folded that in half to make a card that opened vertically. On the inside of the card I wanted to write "I've been where you are, and I'll fight for you." Or just "I'll fight for you." Or just "I've been where you are."  But it felt like I shouldn't write any combination of those things. Wasn't that bad boundaries? And assumptive? Though I have had more life experience than most people my age, I may not have been where my client has been. And I'm the therapist, I'm supposed to be okay. I'm not supposed to approach my clients out of my own pain. I started talking through this with my sweet friend who was right next to me. She told me she thought I brought understanding to my clients. It was really sweet and I knew she meant it, but somehow it didn't feel right, and I kept going back to my original ideas. Finally I decided I couldn't genuinely engage and be fully connected to this directive unless I wrote exactly what felt right, even if it wasn't actually right or even if it was problematic. So, not knowing what the outcome would be and wondering if my concepts of boundaries needed some serious work, I wrote in the card.

   Later we were sharing our pieces with each other and I confessed that I don't normally tell people if I've been where they've been, often that doesn't feel right to me because our conversation is about them. I was nervous when we were doing this, I suppose because honesty feels so vulnerable to me sometimes. We got into a conversation about empathy and my professor showed is this great clip from youtube.

   Over the last few years I've learned that even the most understanding, kind, caring people are not empaths. I didn't know this before. I thought that if you had the ability to care, you had the ability to feel my situation without having experienced it. Frequently these people, who truly mean well, go into what I call fix it mode. They want to help you make a game plan, that want to know what you're doing to make your situation better, they want to know what your plans are to get ourself out or make this better. As Dr. Brown says in the video "One of the things we do sometimes in the face of very difficult conversations, is we try to make things better." This is a compassionate response, but it is not an empathic one. In Dr. Brown's words, "empathy is a vulnerable choice, because in order to connect with you I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling."

  In my own life and personal relationships I get extremely frustrated when I'm sharing with someone and they jump into fix it mode. Very often, I know what to do about my situation. I know I need to get a job so that I can avoid being stressed about my next meal. I know I need to just tell that person that I need a break from them. What I want from the person I'm sharing with is to understand that this is difficult, and I feel alone.

   I imagine that many clients feel the same way, I know I did.  Fix it mode has a time and place, and it can be very useful. But it's over used. Sometimes what we need is just to sit with another in our feelings. Dr. Brown says it so well in the video. "The truth is rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection."

   If I go to someone and share with them that one of my loved ones has died, I'm not expecting that person to bring back my loved one or say anything that is going to be make me feel okay about my loved having died. Conversely, I know that if a client shared this information with me they wouldn't expect me to make this situation right, because we both know that that's impossible. I share with others and clients share with us so that we can sit in those feelings together. To sit with someone in their feeling is to send a message that says "Im here with you. You aren't alone." People know you can't turn back time or undo something that would fix their situation, they don't share with you in the hopes that you can. They share so that they don't have to carry their load alone.

  As art therapists we have unique access to our empathy. When I draw about my clients and make art about them, I put myself in touch with my feelings for them. The feelings take on form, and I'm able to think about my client in a more concrete way. It's really an incredible thing to be able to sit in my empathy for a client through drawing or writing about them. Being engaged in this connection out of a session deepens the connection in a session. If you've never tried drawing or journaling about your clients before I highly recommend it! Perhaps I will give this topic it's own post later on.

Until next time friends!

Veronica 

Hey everyone!

 This May I have an amazing opportunity to go Kenya and Tanzania with an organization called Global Alliance for Africa as an art therapy intern! I am really, really, REALY excited.  I LOVE traveling and learning as much as I can about other places, and so far in life I haven't left the Western hemisphere.Along with one of my classmates and a team of others, including more art therapists, we will be working with GAA, an organization that works with children orphaned by the AIDS pandemic.

  Finding this organization has been pretty amazing for a few reasons. It's really exciting to get to work with some very cool people in the art therapy world who I have so much respect for and who have written art therapy text books that are currently on my shelf, waiting to be used for class. Another reason I specifically chose to travel and volunteer with this organization is traveling and volunteering abroad carries an enormous amount social responsibility. I am well aware that I am as an educated, white American I am endowed with a lot of social privilege. I want to work with an organization that acknowledges and responds to privilege and structural violence in socially responsible ways. I feel like GAA does that, and not many trips like this do.

  Stay tuned for more info on the trip and how you can help me fundraise!

Cheers!
 Veronica

     One of the main things that I do as an art therapy student is answer the question "So, what is art therapy anyway?" Luckily, I don't mind this question at all! Art therapy is a type of therapy that uses artistic and creative processes to help people express themselves, understand their feelings, and communicate. Art therapy is particularly good at giving the client an alternative to spoken communication. They can make art instead!

Here are some questions I get when the topic arises:

Who does art? You or the client? 

 It really depends on therapist, the client, and the situation. Sometimes it's just the client, and sometimes the art therapist works alongside the client. And sometimes the client and therapist collaborate and work on the same project. Every client-therapist combo is unique!

Do you interpret people's art work? 

 No, I do not.
For me, art therapy is more about facilitation than interpretation. My job is to give clients the space and attention (among other things) that they need to be engaged in their own process and connected to me as their therapist.
Additionally, art therapy isn't about what people create as much as it's about why, how it feels to create, which tools and mediums do they prefer, etc.

So, you're going to work with kids then? 

Art therapy does have a connotation of working with children. I personally love working with kids. I find them to be impressive and resilient little creatures. I think art therapy is thought of more for kids because making art has strong connections to childhood that it does not have to adulthood. However, I hope to make an art therapy as acceptable for adults as it is for kids.

Email me if I left anything off you'd like to have the answer too! Additionally, check out the American Art Therapy Association website for more info!

Cheers!
Veronica

Hello all!

  For those of you who don't know me, my name is Veronica. I'm currently a graduate student at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville in the Art Therapy Counseling Program. I completed my undergrad at Georgia State University in my home city of Atlanta. I enjoy reading, making art (duh), and being with my people. It's been my dream for a long to study art therapy. Now that that's under way, my next dream is to travel the globe!

There's me :) 

  This blog will be dedicated to my adventures as a graduate art therapy student. I attend as many conferences and workshops as possible, so I'll try to post updates about stuff I've attended as much as possible! I'm currently the blog editor for the Student Art Therapy Association at my school, SIUE. I do a pretty good job, if I do say so myself, of keeping the blog up-to-date so check it out if you want to know what we're up to! Click here!

  Please feel free to contact me at anytime, I'd love to hear from you! vldelgado10@gmail.com

Cheers!
 Veronica